My Encounter With The Bighorn

yes
there was a booger
in my nose
and I envisioned it as a
big-horned lizard
with a great and pointy spike

you see
it was pushing its way
through my nose
towards some
out of body place
some – I don’t know
some greater heaven

a booger heaven

anyhow – it hurt terribly
but only if I applied pressure to
the outer aspect of my upper nose

and of course
once I was aware
of its presence
I pushed on it

and I kept doing it
I was annoyed that it was there
and you know exactly what I mean

it was like a –
like a canker sore that you
that you can’t leave alone
just knowing that it’s there
is too irritating to ignore
so you tongue it

you just can’t quit tonguing it

so
fed up
I finally went to the bathroom
knowing good and well
that it was way too far up there
for manual retrieval

no
this one required
pressure
and some strong ass
toilet paper

so I tugged on the roll
letting the paper fan fold
in my hand
hoping the folding
would create a strong
and durable pocket
for my ugly and utterly
painful olfactory
offender

it was successful!

all was removed
and I bid the ugly
big-horned monster
farewell

but I used the last of the
toilet paper

not wanting to leave anyone hanging
(no pun intended)
I grabbed a spare from under the sink
but on my way to the dispenser
it was knocked from my hand

it bounced around the rim
of the toilet lid
and finally
plopped into the
cold clear
water

as a college student
money doesn’t yet flow
out of my ass
(I’m hoping to remedy that
by going to college)
so toilet paper is a
precious commodity

I could be heard yelling
as the roll danced its way
around the omnipotent
seat

but I knew it was beyond catching
and I bitched and moaned
watching it saturate with
bowl water

that big-horned booger asshole
cost me a whole roll of paper

god I hate boogers

Happy

I just thought it was important to tell you
how much you mean to me

where I often lack and display the
inner workings of greater inadequacy
you come through

and where I cast little more than
faint shadows you break through
with your life and its bright
lit energy you create

you smile today the same
as you did the first time I saw you
be assured that not everyone is this way
I’ve seen the effort of others suffer and their
happiness fade to some lost
place that no one ever finds

but I found it in you
and find it again
and again

I truly look forward to
showing you the effects of this life
and what it does do me
and what it will do to you

we’ll wrinkle with our ongoing deficit to time
and I see me years from now
pinching the lines they leave on your hands
when you’re not looking
and comparing
them to mine

maybe then I’ll have a little
old man belly
and you can pinch it

we’ll give each other hell
all the days of our life
clear up to incontinence

you and me
in diapers

happy

Broke Me

the ones you want to talk
don’t ever say a damned word
and those you do without?
well – the shit just
f-l-y-s
our their mouth

and today
that is exactly what happened
she just opened her mouth
and the whole world
cringed

my mouth
drew back to one corner
and I settled into
a boring malaise

in secret
I walked up to her
picked up her chair
with her in it
and threw it
clean across
the room

it was like some
feat of Hercules

the two of them
smeared across the classroom
like a shit turd
staining its way to
shit hell

I can’t get a vaginal yeast infection but
I know what a New Guinea Cannibal is and
I know why carbonic acid exists within the blood

but I didn’t tell anyone
what I did to you today
and after I did it
I laughed out loud a little
considering the damage
it would have caused
to both the school
and to you

but then in my mind
I sat back down

I took another sip of my
cold and terrible coffee
and got back into
lecture

which went like this –
hypokalemia
diabetic keoacidosis
isotonic hypervolemia
insulin
anion
protein binding
3rd spacing
hydrochorothiazide
decreased tone
constipation
sometimes you just got to
take a mental break
and break some shit to
feel any better

and in my swollen mind
that is just what you did

broke me all to hell

8's and 3's

time just seems to go by faster with a digital watch
that is why I want an analog watch with a large second hand
and ticks for every second of a minute
it is disappointing to see nothing move on my wrist
to look down and see the finality of what just happened
seems almost like robbery to not know how I arrived here
or there or to take the movement out of a glorious arrival
just imagine the gaps –

6:52 shut alarm off

7:07 walking on cold crunchy grass to start car

7:17 coffee in hand

7:33 bitter dispute and upset concerning argument with son on way to school

7:42 coffee cup in garbage

9:18 wishing I could go back to 6:52

10:37 finish studying for lab this afternoon

11:13 drop off little one and head to gym

11:21 hand in take home test

12:33 showering sweat off from exhaustive workout

14:22 practice flushing IV’s with instructor

18:48 arrive in SCU for patient assignment

22:54 fear bed because sleep is cruel and elusive

just love looking down at that watch
seeing the numbers chunk my day into
tasteless little table scraps
nothing in between but the loss of time
not much of a difference from 8 to 3
except for the addition of a left sided backbone
if I became rigid and aerodynamic maybe I could be
thrown straight as a dart to my intended destination
instead I tumble clumsily down the old dirt hill
with nothing between but 8’s and 3’s
and the quick flick-of-a-wrist glance to see that
not much has changed between 6:52 and 22:54
except for the rise and fall of a mad burning star
and all that it represents

Elemental Orgasm

hauling ass down the hills
we’re spending time together again

there is

an element of disregard
and don’t let anyone
tell you otherwise

the speed goes up so fast that
the busy little LCD can’t keep up
the only thing it can maintain
is that we are somewhere in the hundreds

the only relevant information is
the first of the three numbers

it looks something like this –

12?-12?-13?-13?-144-14?-15?-158-163

somewhere around 150 I hit sixth gear
and no longer need to shift anymore and
while little insects splay themselves
all over my little exuse for a windshield
I imagine the amount of air the machine ingests
to combust gasoline at 13,000 RPM

even in my super-evolved
glucose burning
mammilian body
I can only metabolize so fast
my heart can only pulsate
like an udder-squeezing fist so fast
I can only effectively breathe so fast
so we cruise it down a broken highway

squandering carbon and glucose

so that we both may reach a lovely
elemental orgasm
together

right there in front of god
and everyone

the only thing that could
make it better would be
a video camera

guess I'll have to settle
for a still

Whether Or Not I Believe. . .

it was about seven pm
late December
and as usual
it was cold

walking through the halls
I thought I saw you
exactly you
the same way that
I last remembered
seeing you

same worn blue jeans
same t-shirt
tucked in
belt on
black boots
hair parted like a feather
only thinner
hands in your pockets
with a confident grin
that was always
of unknown origin

I was there to see
his mother who was dying
she spoke through whispers
it was all she could manage
to do

she held my hand
hers were small
and surprisingly
very warm

there was a great
deal of gratitude
for what we were
doing

she kept thanking me
and I rested my hand
on her hand which was
holding my other
and it was a mass of
brown and white skin
small and not-so-small
fingers and I told her
that it was I who should
be thanking her

I left
walked out her room
took a left
walked down the dim hallway
and that is where
I saw you
seeming to be on your way
to see her

I stared at you
followed you with my eyes
pivoted my upper body to
follow your presence
while I continued to walk
the other direction
and eventually looked on

kept walking
down the stairs
through the automatic doors
got into my car
put the key in the ignition
waited for the click
and left

never thought twice
about why you were there

and I didn’t tell anyone about it then
and I haven’t told anyone about it since

Red Light

the smell of cheap perfume disinfectant by an asian restaurant
quickly followed by the aroma of skillet seared beef
cough up again one of many wads of thick throat spit
watch it stick like chicken shit to the dead shell of a broke down car
wait for the pedestrian light to turn white telling me to run
a diesel engine rattles off its oil and muck and I watch
the exhaust pour steady out its thigh sized pipe
I too cough warm exhaust into the evening cold
I’m resting palms on kneecaps trying to feed myself
oxygen so that it too can feed me
so that I can feed myself
in a way that
only running
can

Put Your Hand Down

don’t raise your hand

I mean
I realize you have some
burning question that
deserves a biblical response
but it just doesn’t need to come
at the expense of my time

I am selfish that way
and have been for
quite some time

the kinds of answers
you seek can be found
on the surface of milk cartons
or the handy location of
a simple door placard

if you
for instance
were to attend college
to study the true entirety
of my life I can see you
busily be-bopping behind me
with a sharpened pencil
and pocket spiral
trying to note
my every
bowel
movement

the lead would break
and you would ask me
to please slow down
so that you wouldn’t miss
a beat

and you’d ask questions like-
you really eat that many peanut butter and jellies?
does it always get that big?
how do you live on that kind of income?
do you shave or have you always been that way?
have you read all those books?

just calm down
relax a little
and realize that
nothing is as black and white
as your goddamn
textbooks

Pediatrics

it was said that she didn’t love him
because she was so ready to leave him there
but we didn’t know what it was really like
we hadn’t spent all his life worrying
when his lungs would finally fill with fluid
and drowned him in his own life juice
no – we are new to him and to this so
we sat there at the table at the end
of a long and trying day
exchanging departmental moments
and watched her almost cry for him
and vow to never go
into pediatrics

Back To School

well boys and girls
we’re back at it again
back in the thick mess of
tornado fast shaving
and cramming books into
our swelling brains like
rising dough just before
it drops

And it wouldn’t be right
Any other way

only now is a headache
tolerated as much as it is
expected

farts fly sideways out our ass
we throw food at our mouths
hoping to land it somewhere
near its opening
were out of the car and running
before the key is even removed
I’ll shower with my underwear on
out of sheer lack of time to remove them
all lollipops must now be chewed –
no time to lick them
are those my armpits that smell?

I’ve never fallen asleep running
but I’ve woke up running
and let me tell you
it’s the most productive
feeling ever

aside from
of course
waking up in the
middle of
sex